My name is Allison. Allison Anarchy is the roller derby name I will use whenever I join a roller derby team. I should do that soon, I have the perfect combination of lower body strength and anger issues to be good at it. I have dealt with mental illness for as long as I can remember: depression, anxiety, OCD, MDD, BPD, denial, prescribed medications, homeopathic efforts, self medication efforts, suicide attempts, self harm episodes, mangled romantic relationships, strained friendships, battles lost and won, and a brain full of confused chemicals that are governed by pure anarchy.
I write about it all in this blog, and I write about mental illness with as little apology and regard for social stigma as anyone on Facebook, at family dinners, standing in your personal space in an elevator has when they share details (so many details!) about their physical illnesses. In other words, I will write openly and honestly without judging myself for it. I don’t intend to make anyone uncomfortable, though I might, and I’m not writing to offend anyone, though I might. I’m not even trying to make you understand what I’m going through – you may or may not, and that is not in my control. I’m writing to add to a growing number of voices who are fighting the stigma of living with mental illness. I’m writing for the people who feel alone and judged because of an invisible illness that is difficult to understand, even for the people who have it.
I invite all of you to read my words, and you are welcome to accept or decline that invitation at any time. Change your mind as often as you’d like. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to do some research on local roller derby teams.